30 Aug 2011

MOVIE: CEMETERY MAN



Cemetery Man (or Dellamorte Dellamore) is an Italian comedy horror masterpiece from 1994. Its the story of a young man called Francesco Dellamorte a cemetery watchman who's hobbies include putting a skull puzzle together, crossing off dead peoples names in telephone books and killing zombies. At the cemetery he works the deceased return from the dead 7 days after burial and his job to shoot them in the head or bash their brains in with a shovel.

He has a companion called Gnaghi who also lives at the cemetery who is a giant of a man who is a bit simple in the same sort of sense as Lenny from Of Mice and Men who pukes over females if they talk to him and hardly speaks.

A gorgeous unamed widow appears at the graveyard mourning her husband and to cut a long story short Francesco falls in love with her and bangs her on her dead husbands grave. The dead husband responds by coming back to life and biting her. She dies and when she returns Francesco kills her only for her to rise again seven days later making him believe that he killed the non zombie version of his lover. At this point I would like to point out that the woman in this film is so fucking hot and has amazing jugs which she is more than happy to get out lots in this movie so this was an awesome bonus for me and my mate Squid who was overjoyed about the whole thing.

The mayor is to wrapped up in his campaign to listen to Francesco and his zombie problems at the cemetery until his young daughter is decapitated in a motorcycle crash. Gnaghi falls in love with the girls head and forms an innocent romance with it. 
Everybody loves a bit of "head" I guess..

Francesco who is suffering with great depression starts to believe that the only way to stop the zombie plague is to shoot the people in the head while they are still alive and goes on a bit of a rampage shooting punks and randoms in the local town. The Grim Reaper himself turns up and is trying to recruit Francesco's services while different manifestations of his lover keep turning up sending him insane.

Im not going to go to far in as I dont want to spoil it but this is a great movie if your a fan of the Evil Dead franchise or just decent horror in general this is a real gem. With amazing twists turns and all the little things that make you question and think this movie is a classic. Buckets of gore amazing looking zombies and dark humor this one is a winner!