MAY
TERMINATOR 2 FOR NINTENDO GAME BOY
However when I got the game and played it I realized just how much disappointment could ruin the best day of the year. The game absolutely sucked.
Back in the day when a good movie came out a video game would follow. However most movie licenses were given to a company called LJN who would then make god awful video games which 80% of the time where beyond unplayable.
You see LJN was a toy company which made the ultra awesome WWF rubber figures back in the day. In fact most of the video games were made by toy companies back in the late 80's and early 90's. THQ which is still around today stands for the Toy Headquarters. Video games were classed as toys so thats how it all came about. Making toys and figures is one thing but programing computer games (and good ones at that) was an area they flopped at every possible opportunity.
The Game Boy game focused on trying to make this game as realistic to the movies storyline as possible and thats its main downfall.
In the first level you are in the future war and you have to blow up these communication towers in height order. Sounds easy enough but the fact you are not told to do this means you will constantly get game over screens. It was only after a day of trying everything that I eventually figured out that was what I was meant to do.
+%5B!%5D_09.png)
Next up we have to go inside the lab to reprogram a Terminator to send back in time to save John Connor. It's at this point I must point out that you only have one life in this game. Yup one life to go through some of the hardest most tedious shit you can ever go through in a video game. If by some miracle you can get past this bit you will then have to go through some real proper bullshit.
Now you have to reprogram the cyborg computer. Now I wasn't the cleverest of 9 year olds and hell I am not even that clever now, but this was fucking hard. You had to make sure all the wires were organized perfectly in 35 seconds. You can't even pause the game to have a look. You have to do this shit first time or it is back to the game over screen. I never got past this part of the game.. until recently. I would also like to point out that this actually takes up most of the gameplay time. Kids buy games about robots with guns because they want to blow stuff up. Not to fuck with shit circuit boards!
After that is out of the way it's pretty smooth sailing towards the end. You become Arnie and get to shoot at stuff, which was what you wanted anyway right? The strange thing about this game is the fact the difficulty decreases as the game goes on which is the opposite of what is meant to happen.
So after that theres a level where you have to destroy Cyberdine (just like the movie) and then we go to the final level which is the showdown with the T-1000 in the steel mill.
This level is pretty simple, just keep shooting the T-1000 until he falls into the lava and it's good night sweet heart. So after 20 exact years of trying to beat this game I finally did it and here was my reward..
20 FUCKING YEARS AND ALL I GET IS SOME SHITTY FUCKING TEXT WITH NO IMAGE? WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!! This is beyond an outrage, oh wait..
That makes it all better I guess. After reading this article I wouldn't advise playing this game you don't need to. I have done it for you.. for 20 fucking years!!
JUNE
ALEX KIDD AND THE ENCHANTED CASTLE REVIEW
.jpg)
The game was re-released on the Sega Megadrive (US Genesis) in 1989.
It's hard to be harsh with games like this due to the fact that they are still playable even 3 decades on!
I don't know (or remember) the story of this game. What I do know is all you have to do in this one is keep going right until the level ends and you win. The main character looks more like a little monkey than a young boy. The boy on the front cover looks more like a young ex Birmingham manager Steve Bruce than he does the character on the game.
Now the graphics of the game cannot really be faulted as it is quite good for its time. The sound however is a bit of a nightmare as the same song will loop for the entire game which does drive you mental. The controls are not to bad but it does feel like you have as you tend to slide after landing. This becomes a real pain when trying to navigate platforms, which at times can very tight to say the least.
There are rock, paper, scissor games awaiting behind every doorway in which you can earn extra money for in the game. With the amount of these encounters during the game it makes me realize the main character has a very serious gambling problem! Maybe that's what the game was all about?
The only real down side to this feature is the fact you have to play these mini games to defeat level bosses. So if you just managed to scrape through to the last level on your last life and lose one of these bad boys.. it's game over and back to square one. So to no fault of your own you can lose this one at the end of any level!
There are no power ups or shields on this game and if you touch an enemy you will die. You can get extra lives and the character can punch and use a jump kick to smash enemies and break items of the game environment. There are some of the most obscure enemies for this game which include, a guy with a chainsaw, a red car, a mummy and some random old bloke who just spawns randomly everywhere. Maybe he was meant to be god himself who can just smite you down from anywhere just for gambling all the time.
The game has a variety of levels which become a bit repetitive after a while. There are a couple of unique levels like one where you can swim and another where you can fly a little plane thing. The flying level is a bastard though, as you have to bash the jump button like mad to move the plane and shoot at the same time.
This game has aged pretty well and is still a good challenge to this day. The good side is the playability and nostalgia which this one brings along and with some laughs along the way. The downside is shit music, losing at gambling, cheap enemies, cheap platforms and the fact you skid and slide everywhere. On a whole not too bad.
As a bonus here some cheats and tips for this one if you still have it laying around
Avoid Bosses
To continue the game without having to play scissors-paper-stone, go to any boss and, as soon as the chit-chat is out of the way, press Start to get the Select screen, then press Start again to proceed.
Defeat the Gorilla
You can defeat the Gorilla in Janken by using the signs: Paper, Paper, Scissors, Rock, Rock, Scissors, Scissors, Paper.
THE BOOTLEG SUPER SECRET WARS SERIES
The Bootleg Super Secret Wars is a really cool comic book concept exclusive to Lost Entertainment. The comic features stories and characters with endless possibilities. These are bootleg tales of licensed toys and characters, of epic battles and awesome parties. No toy is safe from this comic book!
ISSUE #3 THE HEROES FALL
READ ISSUE #4 AN UNLIKELY HERO
THE BOOTLEG SUPER SECRET HANGOVER SERIES
The aftermath of the Bootleg Super Secret War
JULY
WWF SUPERSTARS CRISPS
ARTICLE BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ
So it's 1993 and things are starting to wind down in terms of the (then) World Wrestling Federations popularity. Hulkamania was done, The Ultimate Warrior fucked off back to parts unknown and Randy Savage had also stepped down. The WWF at this time was being led by Bret The Hitman Hart. A phenomenal wrestler in the ring but lacked the charisma and showmanship that we had been accustomed to.
At this time the WWF were really digging deep in the well when it came to creating new talent and ideas. We had clowns, repo men, tax inspectors, bull fighters, ex convicts, sumo wrestlers, alligator hunters, voodoo priests and Max Moon (what ever the fuck he was!).
The ratings and ticket sales dropped week by week and with a huge impending law suit over the steroids scandal this was a very dark and testing time for the WWF and for the wrestling industry in general.
However that did not stop them from making and marketing even more stupid products. Since the 1980's the WWF has marketed and sold every type of product imaginable. Be it hats, t shirts, toys, bed spreads, posters, badges, even more toys and anything else they could slap a WWF logo on at the time.
I remember being at primary school in the January of 1993 and one of my friends running into class to show everyone the coolest thing we had ever seen, The WWF Superstars crisps from Red Mill. Word spread like wildfire of these crisps that had the Undertaker on the packet. At lunch time another kid lucked out and found a bag with Randy Savage on in his packed lunch and pure chaos commenced.
I am not exaggerating when I say pure chaos started over these crisps, everyone was literally losing their shit. Everyone had gone off the WWF just after Survivor Series 92 but I was still a loyal fan who had faith in Hulk Hogan coming back and making everything great again. These crisps however made the WWF topical and cool again among my classmates, which was great news for me, as up until this point I was defending the business everyday when those other idiots were calling it "fake" and "rubbish".
So lets have a look 20 years on at the WWF Superstars Crisps by Red Mill.
CHUNKY CHEESE THE MACHO FLAVOUR
So this is the Chunky Cheese flavour which claims to be "the macho flavour"! Out of all the flavours to represent the extravagant Macho Man Randy Savage I would have to say that this one is in the right ball park. Then again Macho Man could be any flavor he fucking wanted as he was that cool. These were 20p at the time which was 10p more than Space Raiders and 10p less than Walkers crisps at that point in time. You got a decent bag of crisps plus a picture of Randy Savage, what more could you want? Well a lot but still.
On the back of the packet there are some prizes you could win if you sent off enough tokens off the crisp packet. The funny thing about the prizes, is the fact 80% of these products are products of Hulk Hogan who had left a year before and the Ultimate Warrior. Up until signing with WCW in 1994 the WWF would continue to sell products with the Hulks image on.
Another funny thing is that every time Hulks name got mentioned up until 1996 a Marvel copyright warning would come up. Although there never was a Hulk Hogan comic, Marvel did not take too kindly to Hogan using one of their top characters as his name. When Hogan first came on the scene he was dubbed "The Incredible Hulk Hogan" so to get out of any legal bother Vince Mcmahon Sr struck a deal with Marvel and gave them the rights to his name. This turned out in Hogans favor in the end, as he could continue being the Hulkster after leaving the WWF in 1993 until he became Hollywood Hogan in 1996. In 2005 he finally bought out the name and it now belongs to him. The sell by date on these crisps is the 17th of April 1993. From what I remember they did not last that long before being pulled off the shelves and never seen again.
SPICY BEEF THE DEAD GOOD FLAVOR
Everyone knows that when it comes to corn puffed crisps, beef will always be king. That's why it is so fitting the Undertaker got this flavor. The Undertaker is the don of dons and still even 20 years on, the dead man is kicking serious ass in the squared circle.
At this time the Undertaker had been a face (good guy) for just under a year. The transformation from being the scariest heel (bad guy) in the business to the Frankensteins monster (with good intent) happened over night. As a heel the Undertaker took apart all the main top boys including Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior. As a face the Undertaker served as a monster who would destroy other monsters on the roster such as Kamala and the abysmal Giant Gonzalez. Things would stay this way up until he won the belt again in 1997 at Wrestlemania 13. I remember this flavour being the best one.
PICKLED ONION THE CHAMPION FLAVOR
Finally we come to the Champion Flavor which was pickled onion. I would have had Bret down as being a prawn cocktail flavor just for the pink packaging alone.
I was never a huge fan of the Hitman when I was a kid! Not because he sucked or anything like that, I just didn't like the fact he had Hogans spot. The fact that I really wanted the Warrior or Randy Savage to be the guys in the top spot when Hogan left was a major factor for me not liking him. So when Bret became the main guy I instantly resented him for it. I think alot of young fans felt the same and Bret had a very heavy load to carry for the next 4 years.
These crisps vanished off the shelves not long after and it was as if they never existed, making them another Lost Entertainment gem! The WWF would fizzle out until 1998 until the attitude era began. Red Mill was a company under the umbrella of Golden Wonder and was purchased by a company called Tayto in recent years.
INDEPENDENCE DAY ACTION FIGURES AND VEHICLES
ARTICLE BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ
I know it's a day late but I completely forgot about these toys until about 2 am just after watching the movie last night. So 17 years has passed since the release of the 1996 summer blockbuster Independence Day. I still remember it as if it was yesterday.
I went to see the movie on the first day it came out and I was blown away. I was 12 at the time and things such as plot holes and common sense never came into play for me when watching movies then. All I cared about was explosions and fuck off space ships.
State of the art Independence Day offers found inside the Independence day VHS.
After re-watching the film last night I must say, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yeah all the cast members are Hollywood rotten and the fact everyone just by sheer coincidence happen to all meet up at the most convenient of times is more than laughable, but it's just a summer block buster. The main appeal of this movie is the alien invasion and onscreen devastation of mankind. Like I said with Jurassic Park toys article (click here to read), if you only wanted to see this movie because you love the artistic work of Jeff Goldblum or some other none related reason other than aliens blowing shit up- then you are a cunt. Now lets get onto the toys.
The toys were made by a company called Trendsetters who also made the toys for that awful Godzilla movie from 1998. These toys were on the shelves when the movie came out but didn't stay there for much longer. Like I have said before, movie based action figures and especially ones from a summer blockbuster never have a very good shelf life. Depending on the movies popularity these toys will either fly off the shelves quick or will just remain there gathering dust. Independence Day maybe the finest example of a flash in the pan summer blockbuster. Although the movie did very well at the box office on release, the movie never had the same appeal as the Spielberg movies did which defined this genre. So on a whole this was not a very successful toy line.
The toy line consisted of a few of the main characters and a few different aliens. Each figure came free with a floppy disc which carried "mission data" whatever the fuck that was.
nBRO(t50Ptg~~60_57.JPG)
The alien figures are quite cool and their heads open up with a bulldog clip type mechanism which you can pop the little alien inside. From what I remember these figures were also a bit pricey which would also be a big factor in this lines downfall.
The Supreme Commander alien figure is the coolest of the bunch as he is a much larger toy and has lots of cool sound effects and gimmicks. The other Alien figures were very similar apart from having different paint jobs and floppy discs.
The Steven Miller action figure was the first ever action figure of Will Smith. Its a pretty cool figure and comes with lots of different guns and other cool shit.
Jeff Goldblum got immortalized in plastic once again, just 3 years after Jurassic park which was great news for him. Out of all the actors in the world to have 2 action figures, he's one of the last guys you would think of.
They never released the giant mother shop or the massive city destroying vessels we see in the movie. They did however release the small UFO as a toy in this line.
This toy was very expensive at the time and was also a big rip off. The box was over sized and gave the illusion of a decent sized toy, but when opened the space craft was only a tiny bit bigger than your hand.
As well as an LCD handheld game and an even worse outing on the Playstation 1 another toy was released in this line which is very valuable.
BOioe-V3Sw~~60_57.JPG)
This toy is the handheld Area 51 micro battle play set. This was a Mighty Max styled hand held play set which included a few vehicles and other bits and bobs which you would lose within 3 minutes of opening the fucking thing. I have seen these sell boxed for over £100.
Although the toys themselves were of a decent standard they flopped majorly just like the movie's popularity. By February 1997 these toys could be found in the bargain bin area of the stores before being shipped off to fuck knows along with last summers Super Soakers and Sega Saturn consoles. When it came to licensed movie toys Toy Story cleaned house and are still doing so to this day.
M.U.S.C.LE TOYS
.jpg)
M.U.S.C.L.E which stood for "Millions of Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere" was a hugely popular line of toys from Mattel in the late 1980's. The toys were made from a PVC gum and were of small wrestlers which ranged from humans, aliens, monsters, robots and brick shaped creatures. There was even on of a giant hand which looked cool but made no sense what so ever.
The figures came in packs which were boarded on cards or in a mini bucket. These toys were ultra popular and were used as currency at my primary school for a short period of time before they vanished off the face of the earth. These inch and a half unpainted toys were really cool and the fact that there were so many variations made these very collectible.
As time went on Mattel went on to release multi colored variations of these figures. Although it kind of breathed new life into the franchise they were no way near as good as the original flesh colored flesh colored counterparts.
A wrestling ring for the figures was released as well as a championship belt which you could display your top figure in (kinda like the AWA one for the REMCO figures click here to read about them). The line although hugely popular for a few years died out just before the 90's began. I collected them all up until that point and was only missing a few. The figures are hugely popular among collectors to this day and you can purchase ones you haven't got by going to this website (click here).
These toys are very iconic for their time period and fitted in well with all the other homo erotic shit that kids loved. They paved the way for Monsters in my Pocket and many other miniature collectible figures which are still popular to this day.
RELATED LOST ENTERTAINMENT POSTS
10 OBSCURE TOYS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
ARTICLE BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ
Here at Lost Entertainment we fucking love bootleg and real action figures. Anything made out of plastic depicting the things we love will always be a winner. In the past we have reviewed bootlegged and real toys from around the world, and today we will be mixing it up a bit by looking at both real and bootlegged items.
So let the madness begin!
WONDERBREAD SAVAGE HE-MAN
QE9s3HFd1jBRzY)ph)ug~~60_57.JPG)
This guy maybe one of the most controversial action figures of all time. Not in a bad way, but because his origin is simply unknown. The story goes, that this figure was an ultra rare mail away from Wonderbread in the 1980's. The problem is that no one can confirm this and there is no evidence to say so. This however doesn't stop collectors buying and selling these for ridiculous amounts of money and sometimes in 4 figure sums. I actually think the savage He-Man looks better than the real ginger haired version and he looks fucking bad ass to top it off. So wether Wonderbread He-Man is real or a bootleg will always be an unsolved mystery like the Jack the Ripper murders of 1888 and who was behind GTV in WWE in 1999.
E.T's finger
Now this is a real piece of merchandise which was sold in toy shops around the time of the movie's release. How no one clocked that E.T'S finger looks like a big dildo is beyond me. The fact it has batteries and lights up makes it all the more amusing.
VICKY AND HER VIBE
I recently stumbled upon a boxed version of this toy when I was hanging out with Sonic Mass at their rehearsal studio. This is a wind up toy of a naked woman who gives her self a good thudding with a mini version of E.T's finger. Vicky and her vibe are mainly sold in sex shops and the odd pokey off license.
WORZEL GUMMIDGE
Worzel Gummidge was a British TV show from the 1970's about a scarecrow who fell in love with a mannequin called Aunt Sally. The TV show had a great shelf life and was replayed up until the late 1980's. I always thought the whole thing was rather traumatizing to watch as a young child, as Worzel would get decapitated at least 3 times an episode. These toys are mega obscure and are worth money but finding someone who even remembers this show or even harder finding a fan of this show who collects expensive toyd could be a very hard task indeed.
ROCKY MEAT
The line of figures released by Jakks in 2006 are highly collectible and really fucking cool. However in this line maybe the worst action figure (if you can call it that) ever made! The slab of hanging meat which Rocky punches during the training for the first fight with Apollo Creed, made it as an action figure. When I see shit like this it always makes me think a kid might have got this as a stocking filler or even worse a main present at Christmas. I honestly think shit toys like this should be banned and classed as contraband. I really have a high level of contempt against crap toys. This makes E'T,s finger look like Castle Greyskull.
BREAST MILK BABY
Being a boy I have always thought girls toys were mega weird. Why anyone would want to have pretend tea parties, pretend babies that shit and piss and even toy dogs that do the same also is beyond me. Now I bring you the Breast Milk baby! I have no fucking idea how this works or more importantly why it was even released but it's 100% real. By the time girls get breasts they stop playing with dolls and end up having real babies of their own. Maybe they had to get their mothers or some other random woman to feed these weird fuckers.
YOU CAN SHAVE YOUR BABY
This is another weird baby toy from Japan. This one is a ginger baby who for some reason has hit puberty and needs to be shaved. I don't know if the hair grows back or not but I am guessing it doesn't otherwise this toy may have found the answer for baldness.
GOD ALMIGHTY
This action figure is a pure boss and the fact he is God Almighty makes that statement even more credible. I recently reviewed all the action figures of Jesus Christ at Easter (click here to read) and know of a few other bible related toys but this one is the best I have seen so far. I want to book him for the next Super Secret Wars so I am on the look out for this.
ROWDY RODDY PIPER GI JOE
The Roddy Piper GI Joe is a really cool action figure which was released in recent times. As Sgt Slaughter needed a heel to go against Hasbro put Piper in the COBRA unit. Although this figure is mega awesome the only downside is the fact its ridiculously rare and valuable. I have never seen one go for less than £400!
POLE DANCE
Pole Dance is another bizarre toy from Japan and there was no surprise there. This toy which resembles a young child pole dances for you. Wether it strips or not I don't know, but as it's Japanese it more than likely does. I love Japan but everything is way too noncey for me. Everything involves erotic school girls and bright colors. Shits fucked up.
RELATED LOST ENTERTAINMENT POST'S
BOOTLEG TOY SPECIAL 2
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER
THE BOOTLEG SUPER SECRET STREET WARS SERIES
The latest adventure where crime is rampant on the streets of Bootleg city.
THE MARK OF THE DEVIL REVIEW
Mark of the Devil (Hexen) is a Austrian horror movie from 1970. This past weekend me and a friend had a few joints and sat down and watched this movie.
The movie is about a Witch Hunter who arrives in a new town to take over the proceedings when it comes to burning and torturing women for no good fucking reason. The movie is a cash in on the Witchfinder General movie with Vincent Price from 2 years before. This movie was released with the purest intention to shock audiences and not much else. This was evident to the extent that free vomit bags were handed out to audiences that paid to see this movie in US theatres. The movie was also rated "V" for violence as a nice little touch as well.
Barf bag from The Mark of The Devil. These are highly collectible on ebay.
So the movie is somewhat of a love story about a woman who has been accused of witchcraft by the backwards local witch hunters and the apprentice witch finder who believes she is innocent. The apprentice witch finder is played by Udo Kier who headlined Andy Warhols Dracula and was the elder vampire in Blade.
The movie has a dubbed over soundtrack which is very amusing at times and the over the top sound editing brings lots of comical value. The movie has plot holes and continuity issues which are very evident almost everywhere. For instance, in one scene a woman slashes a mans face with a knife only for his scar to disappear in the next scene and then magically re-appear and the next.
The movie is very anti climatic and it really seems as if they are just fleshing the whole thing out so that the movie doesn't just consist of violent torture scenes. The movie has its fair share of laughs but I am sure most of them are not intended. One great scene of note is when the witch hunters bust in on a kids puppet show and believe the puppets to be instruments of the devil.
The movie really focuses in on the corruptness of the holy church and shows just how severe the lengths the simpletons of the olden days would go in the name of the "lord". Although the movie tends more to exploit violence against women by using all these cool torture gimmicks they had laying around on the castle set.
This movie isn't the best and hasn't aged well in the modern times. What was shocking and down right appalling in 1970 is damn near laughable in 2013. With that said this isn't the worst movie either. It has good costumes, cast members and great use of locations but the main let down is no story arcs or any real structure the whole way through. What should happen and what does happen are two different things. If you want to watch a decent movie on the subject of witch hunting then Vincent Price is your man in Witchfinder General. This one is just for gore, giggles and not to be taken seriously.
OCTOBER HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN
A HAUNTING STARRING POLTERGUY REVIEW
Oh yeah it's that time of year again! The time of year when things go bump in the night and the weather turns to shit.. of course Halloween! As always Lost Entertainment (dot org) will be celebrating this event by posting articles about creepy shit up until the 31st of October.
So this year we kick off the Halloween countdown with a review of a rather obscure Sega Megadrive classic called Haunting starring Polterguy. The game was created by Electronic Arts in 1993 and I never got round to playing this until 2011 on an episode of GameRape, when me and Squid played the game with commentary.
The game was a top down isometric style video game which really resembles the first outing of the Sims which EA would release 7 years later to much success. The plot of the game is very simple, a dead teenage punk rocker is going round terrorizing a family of yuppies from house to house for no good reason. There maybe a reason for this but I never found one while playing it. Maybe the dad raped him while the others watched and laughed or something? Either way this guy is pissed off and he will go to any length to torture these poor fuckers from room to room.
The main character is invisible to the residents of the house and in order to scare them he must dive inside of the objects and furniture placed in each room. Once this happens and the intended victim interacts with that object something dreadful happens. For instance: when you make the Polterguy dive into the sofa and a person interacts with that object, the sofa turns into a giant monster and tries to eat them.
The more haunted items you make them interact with the better and if you frighten them enough they will leave the house. You have a green meter which represents your plasma and you need this in order to jump in and out of the objects. Residents will drop large amounts of this if scared enough so you can replenish it, but this meter will always run down no matter how well you are doing.
Once your plasma meter has completely depleted you will be sent to the underworld level to collect more. This is the only place in the game where you can take damage and this comes from grabbing hands from the walls and mist clouds from the floor. This is the lamest part of the game and really slows down the fun which flows pretty well up until this point.
Being a Sega Megadrive game this one cashes in on the fact that blood was allowed on this system at the time. There are lots of gory and very graphic tricks you can play on the members of the house hold. Once you make all the residents leave the house you then follow them to the next one and do this four times all in all.
The levels get trickier as they go along but this game is very pot luck when it comes to difficulty due to the primitive AI for its time. Sometimes you can make a house member flee just by doing one or two things and other times you can scare them 30 times in one room and they wont even flinch, so it's really down to their mood wether you succeed in this one. The final boss in the game is the family dog which turns into a big beast at the end which you do battle with.
The game is good fun to play and has aged quite well. The only downfall is the bad AI and the constant visits you make to the underworld which break things up somewhat. On a whole though.. not bad at all! Below is the GameRape episode in which me and Squid played this game in 2011.
RINGU REVIEW
ARTICLE BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ
Growing up watching horror movies is like a drug addiction. To begin with you get your scares and thrills from made up monsters and amazing special effects. From there you start quenching your thirst with buckets of blood and insane violence. After a while you become immune to all this and the fear element vanishes and you actually start enjoying to see the evils displayed in front of you.
From that point on you need that little something to tip you over the edge so that you can once again feel the fear you've became immune to. This is where psychological horror comes into effect. Psychological horror movies are quite a unique thing and have their own rules. These types of films are usually very low budget and are very simple films which exploit our fundamental fears without having to use the gore and special effects the other horror movies do. Our brains end up doing most of the hard work during these films and that is almost magic in its essence when you think about it. Films such as the Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity are a testament to this. Although these films get slammed by mindless movie goers who don't get what these films are trying to achieve and are then just cast off as "shit" and "rubbish" films, this does not take the power away from them what so ever.
Yes there are big budget physiological horror movies like the Exorcist and Rosemary's Baby which capture the same feeling, but that's a whole different load of talk for another article I can assure you. The point I am trying to make is that the low budget simple movie's are the ones which hit the senses the hardest and today's movie is the ultimate when it comes to proving that theory.
Ringu is the story of a cursed video tape which is viewed by some teenagers in a log cabin in Japan. Immediately after viewing the tape they receive a phone call telling them that they have seven days to live. Seven days later.. yeah you guessed. A female reporter gets hold of the story and starts investigating the whole affair and ends up watching the tape herself at the secluded cabin and receives the dreaded phone call. The rest of the movie (without spoilers) is about her trying to lift the curse by getting to the bottom of this mysterious VHS cassette.
.jpg)
The movie is based on a top selling Japanese novel of the same name and is also very strongly based on a popular ghost story from Japanese folklore. As well as being a great horror movie this film also does a great job of telling an adventure story as well. The movie is in subtitles which I normally find a right pain but this movie is so good it doesn't matter. What I find amazing about this movie is the fact that the performances are still extremely powerful even though they are not speaking English.
The movie is shot in a very dark tone which accentuates the use of the color blue and dark tones of grey. The movie has a very simple and haunting soundtrack which includes lots of ghoulish bell like sound effects and chimes throughout. The cursed video tape segment is one of the most powerful and most intelligent parts of the film. Don't believe me? Have a watch for yourself, but if your phone rings straight after don't blame me..
THE RING CURSED VIDEO
I have had lots of fun with this video over the years including a Chat Roulette session a while back where me and friend played it on loop into a web cam. We freaked a few people out especially some young black girls but the rest of the time it was just loads of weird dudes with their dicks out that interacted with us. Damn that website is a fucking strange place!
Ringu is up there at the top when it comes to the scariest movies ever made. It has a great atmosphere, a chilling story, great performances and to top it off.. not one drop of blood! That takes some doing. If you have seen this before, re watch it! If you haven't, then add this one to your Halloween movie playlist. This one especially freaks out women which is always a great thing. The movie spawned an awesome sequel which will be covered here at some point and it is a must if you enjoy this movie. Unfortunately Hollywood cashed in and made a remake for all those thick cunts who can't read subtitles and like watching shit horror films to enjoy. Fuck that version off at all costs.. and it's shitty Hollywood sequel for that matter!
So Todd Mcfarlane who created Spawn and drew up some of the coolest comic books of the 1990's started his own action figure company up in the end of that decade. Mcfarlane Toys is one of the most innovative and important toy companies to ever emerge. This toy company brought us articulated action figures which were sculpted with the highest quality resin molds. Nothing like these figures had ever been seen before when it came to the levels of detail.
The thing that set this company apart from the others is the fact they made toys which were marketed more towards teenagers and adults than young children.
In 1998 this company launched a line of figures based on characters from horror movies. This line of figures was called Movie Maniacs. The first series consisted of 5 different figures 3 of which being some of the biggest (and bloodiest) names in horror. This line of toys did so well that another 6 lines of these toys were released and other companies started to take note and make similar toy lines them selves to much success.
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
MOVIE MANIACS FIGURES
So Todd Mcfarlane who created Spawn and drew up some of the coolest comic books of the 1990's started his own action figure company up in the end of that decade. Mcfarlane Toys is one of the most innovative and important toy companies to ever emerge. This toy company brought us articulated action figures which were sculpted with the highest quality resin molds. Nothing like these figures had ever been seen before when it came to the levels of detail.
The thing that set this company apart from the others is the fact they made toys which were marketed more towards teenagers and adults than young children.
In 1998 this company launched a line of figures based on characters from horror movies. This line of figures was called Movie Maniacs. The first series consisted of 5 different figures 3 of which being some of the biggest (and bloodiest) names in horror. This line of toys did so well that another 6 lines of these toys were released and other companies started to take note and make similar toy lines them selves to much success.
FREDDY KRUEGER
Me being one of the biggest self confessed Elm Street fans on the planet this toy was the one which excited me the most when this line was first announced. Apart from resin models you could buy this was the most detailed Freddy Krueger figure ever made at the time and came with Phillip's Freddy puppet from Nightmare on Elm Street 3. The figure has 7 points of articulation and the hat doesn't come off which is a real shame. Out of all the figures released in this line this is the clumpiest of them all. The sculpt of the glove is not that great either but it's a first attempt so can't be too harsh about that.There have been many improved efforts of Freddy figures since then by other companies and Mcfarlane even released an improved Freddy figure in a later series of the Movie Maniacs line a few years later.
JASON VOORHEES
Jason is hands down the best figure of the bunch. He has many points of articulation and comes with lots of weapons including, a machete, an ax and a sickle. These weapons were painted in a reflective metallic paint which made them look ultra realistic. The figures mask came off if you carefully cut it off with a graphics knife and had the horrific facial features as well. This however does devalue the figure and yes I know this because I did it. I would also like to point out that these figures were all sold in 2 different variations which were clean and blood soaked. I have never seen an un-bloodied figure from this line in real life before.
LEATHER FACE
At the time of this figures release the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was still banned in the UK making this one all the more cooler. I remember being so shocked that an action figure of Leather Face had actually been made. Leather face is a big heavy figure and comes with lots of gory goodies including his trusty chainsaw, a bucket, a hammer and various limbs including a decapitated head. The figure has a great likeness and is a great first effort.
EVE AND PATRICK FROM SPECIES II
I have never seen the Species movies (just never got round to it) so I cant really comment too much about these figures. These are pretty obscure entries for the series when you consider the first 3 figures in the line. Mcfarlane would do things like this throughout the line over the years putting figures like Shaft, Robocop and Sarah Connor from Terminator 2 in lines with other horror movie maniacs figures. The figures them selves look really nice and are good sculpts but like I said I haven't seen the films or own the figures to make any real comments about these guys.
All the figures came with dioramas made from bones and a cardboard version of the movies poster framed inside. I will be reviewing the latter lines of these figures as I go on in the future so stay tuned. In present time there are lots of different companies like NECA and sideshow collectibles which have some amazing horror figures on sale. However the movie maniacs are the ones which started it all and set the bar when it came to making horror movie related toys.
ARTICLE BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ
I first saw this film when I was about 10 years old when the BBC were doing late night showings of all the classic Hammer Horror movies.
I have always been big into horror movies for my whole life, so when I was introduced to the world of Hammer it was a great part of my childhood. I would set the VCR to record these films shown way past my bed time and I would watch them the next day. I would watch them over and over again for many years to come.
This is the first outing for Christopher Lee as Dracula and Peter Cushing as Dr Van Helsing. This on screen rivalry/partnership would go on for decades to come and even crossed over into other films time went on.
The movie is based on the Bram Stoker book and tries to keep on that path. However due to there already being a Dracula movie from 1931 starring Bella Lugosi from Universal pictures they had to re-title this one to the Horror of Dracula instead of just Dracula in the US. This film also swaps around some of the characters and situations from the book as well.
No one can get mad about this one playing around with the details from the book, as not ONE Dracula movie EVER made has stayed true to the actual book by Bram Stoker.
If you know the story of Dracula then you know the story of this movie.. well in a way. The movie is about a young English man who goes to work as librarian for Count Dracula in his castle in Transylvania. While there, the man is bitten by a lady vampire who has been kept a prisoner for god knows how many years. The man (Johnathan Harker) knows that they are vampires and decides he is going to put a stop to this and drives a stake through the lady vampires chest. He has no such luck with Count Dracula and dies for his efforts.
The count then packs his coffin for London and this is where the real fun starts. He starts feeding on Johnathan Harker's fiancee (Lucy) and then starts terrorizing everyone apart from one man.. our fearless vampire hunter Dr Van Helsing played by Peter Cushing. The rest of the movie is about stopping count Dracula and lifting his evil vampire curse he is spreading.
This movie is a timeless classic and my favorite Dracula movie of all time. This movie takes us where the 1931 masterpiece simply wasn't allowed to. This movie gave us color and plenty of, it as well as lots of blood which was very evidently missing in Universal picture. The casting of Lee as count Dracula is maybe one of the greatest casting decisions ever in movie history.
Lee had the best on screen presence as Count Dracula. Standing in at 6"5 Christopher dwarfed other cast members which made him being able to carry away women with ease much more believable. Not just the size but the fact he is a great actor and the fact he has the perfect look makes him the measuring stick (in my opinion) when it comes to playing count Dracula on the big screen. Sorry Bella Lugosi! You were great as Dracula but Christopher Lee perfected the role.
Peter Cushing is the best (and only real person to nail the role) actor to ever play Dr Van Helsing the arch nemesis of Count Dracula. The partnership and chemistry between Cushing and Lee is something magic and something we may never see again in horror or cinema in general. Cushing had a great warmth to him, the kind of person who makes you feel safe and someone you can believe in. Many leading men have tried to slay the monsters and baddies of the years but most of the time the monster is more remembered than the leading guy who slayed him. With Peter Cushing you knew some how some way this bloke was going to get shit done and in glorious fashion. Cushing would later play villains here and there but he will be best remembered for being the guy who can put the boots to Count Dracula.
The Horror of Dracula really is a fun film to watch and considering today's standards the blood and guts are very tame. At the time however it was deemed too much and a lot was cut out of this movie. I recently heard a film institute in Japan found a few reels with over 36 minutes of cut footage of this movie. This has been added on blu ray as well I have been told. Dracula is the most portrayed character in cinema history and there are literally thousands of Dracula movies to choose from. If you are going to choose one then please choose this one. You won't regret it.
ARTICLE BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ
The Usborne Guide to the Supernatural World maybe one of my favorite books ever written. It's also one of my favorite things to read while I'm having a shit as well.
Usborne books have been around for many generations and have made some very fun yet educational books in their time. The books they published were all about different themes and subjects, which educated children about historic and fictional events told using snippets of text and amazing illustrations.
This book was released in the late 1970's and is very brutal for a book intended for children.
This book was an omnibus edition of three other books released a few years before. These books were, the Usborne Guide to Vampires Werewolves and Demons, Haunted Houses Ghosts and Spectres and Mysterious Powers and Strange Forces.
The book (or books) deal with the fiction and reality of paranormal events and stories. The book is very in depth and tons of monster mythology is covered.
From the origins of Eastern European vampire tales to Count Dracula and Hammer Horror, its all covered.
The book tells many great stories from around the world, which would make for some great new horror movies if picked up by the right person.
This book has it all, wether it's how to look after a dead body properly without having to worry about vampirism or how to kill your mate if he becomes a member of he undead. The use of very bloody and well drawn illustrations make this book a hoot from start to finish.
The book introduces us to vampire legends from all around the world and some of these are just down right funny. Theres a Russian vampire who likes sucking his thumb all the time and a Greek one who likes to sit on peoples faces while they sleep!
The ghosts section is also a very wonderful thing to read. Famous paranormal cases are brought back to life using amazing pictures with some great story telling. A floor plan of Borely Rectory is also included. The book also encourages paranormal investigation by including paranormal report forms and how to make your own psychic powered rods.
The book also discusses the reality of such claims and goes onto explain the origins of such myths and also goes into detail about famous hoaxes. The book kinda takes you through a wild ride of terror and then at the end tells you it's all a load of bollocks really which is pretty cool.
From what I have gathered these books are very well missed and collectible for their nostalgia reasons. My copy is in bad condition as it is a copy nicked from a local library back in the day, so I doubt mine is worth anything but it has a sentimental value and if I lost it I would be very upset.
If you like reading books about monsters or just something fun to flick through I really recommend this book. I've had mine for years and still refer to it to this day. One of my favorite books ever!
HORROR OF DRACULA REVIEW
.jpg) |
| ILLUSTRATION BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ |
I first saw this film when I was about 10 years old when the BBC were doing late night showings of all the classic Hammer Horror movies.
I have always been big into horror movies for my whole life, so when I was introduced to the world of Hammer it was a great part of my childhood. I would set the VCR to record these films shown way past my bed time and I would watch them the next day. I would watch them over and over again for many years to come.
This is the first outing for Christopher Lee as Dracula and Peter Cushing as Dr Van Helsing. This on screen rivalry/partnership would go on for decades to come and even crossed over into other films time went on.
The movie is based on the Bram Stoker book and tries to keep on that path. However due to there already being a Dracula movie from 1931 starring Bella Lugosi from Universal pictures they had to re-title this one to the Horror of Dracula instead of just Dracula in the US. This film also swaps around some of the characters and situations from the book as well.
No one can get mad about this one playing around with the details from the book, as not ONE Dracula movie EVER made has stayed true to the actual book by Bram Stoker.
If you know the story of Dracula then you know the story of this movie.. well in a way. The movie is about a young English man who goes to work as librarian for Count Dracula in his castle in Transylvania. While there, the man is bitten by a lady vampire who has been kept a prisoner for god knows how many years. The man (Johnathan Harker) knows that they are vampires and decides he is going to put a stop to this and drives a stake through the lady vampires chest. He has no such luck with Count Dracula and dies for his efforts.
The count then packs his coffin for London and this is where the real fun starts. He starts feeding on Johnathan Harker's fiancee (Lucy) and then starts terrorizing everyone apart from one man.. our fearless vampire hunter Dr Van Helsing played by Peter Cushing. The rest of the movie is about stopping count Dracula and lifting his evil vampire curse he is spreading.
This movie is a timeless classic and my favorite Dracula movie of all time. This movie takes us where the 1931 masterpiece simply wasn't allowed to. This movie gave us color and plenty of, it as well as lots of blood which was very evidently missing in Universal picture. The casting of Lee as count Dracula is maybe one of the greatest casting decisions ever in movie history.
Lee had the best on screen presence as Count Dracula. Standing in at 6"5 Christopher dwarfed other cast members which made him being able to carry away women with ease much more believable. Not just the size but the fact he is a great actor and the fact he has the perfect look makes him the measuring stick (in my opinion) when it comes to playing count Dracula on the big screen. Sorry Bella Lugosi! You were great as Dracula but Christopher Lee perfected the role.
Peter Cushing is the best (and only real person to nail the role) actor to ever play Dr Van Helsing the arch nemesis of Count Dracula. The partnership and chemistry between Cushing and Lee is something magic and something we may never see again in horror or cinema in general. Cushing had a great warmth to him, the kind of person who makes you feel safe and someone you can believe in. Many leading men have tried to slay the monsters and baddies of the years but most of the time the monster is more remembered than the leading guy who slayed him. With Peter Cushing you knew some how some way this bloke was going to get shit done and in glorious fashion. Cushing would later play villains here and there but he will be best remembered for being the guy who can put the boots to Count Dracula.
The Horror of Dracula really is a fun film to watch and considering today's standards the blood and guts are very tame. At the time however it was deemed too much and a lot was cut out of this movie. I recently heard a film institute in Japan found a few reels with over 36 minutes of cut footage of this movie. This has been added on blu ray as well I have been told. Dracula is the most portrayed character in cinema history and there are literally thousands of Dracula movies to choose from. If you are going to choose one then please choose this one. You won't regret it.
THE USBORNE GUIDE TO THE SUPERNATURAL WORLD
The Usborne Guide to the Supernatural World maybe one of my favorite books ever written. It's also one of my favorite things to read while I'm having a shit as well.
Usborne books have been around for many generations and have made some very fun yet educational books in their time. The books they published were all about different themes and subjects, which educated children about historic and fictional events told using snippets of text and amazing illustrations.
This book was released in the late 1970's and is very brutal for a book intended for children.
The book (or books) deal with the fiction and reality of paranormal events and stories. The book is very in depth and tons of monster mythology is covered.
From the origins of Eastern European vampire tales to Count Dracula and Hammer Horror, its all covered.
The book tells many great stories from around the world, which would make for some great new horror movies if picked up by the right person.
This book has it all, wether it's how to look after a dead body properly without having to worry about vampirism or how to kill your mate if he becomes a member of he undead. The use of very bloody and well drawn illustrations make this book a hoot from start to finish.
The book introduces us to vampire legends from all around the world and some of these are just down right funny. Theres a Russian vampire who likes sucking his thumb all the time and a Greek one who likes to sit on peoples faces while they sleep!
The ghosts section is also a very wonderful thing to read. Famous paranormal cases are brought back to life using amazing pictures with some great story telling. A floor plan of Borely Rectory is also included. The book also encourages paranormal investigation by including paranormal report forms and how to make your own psychic powered rods.
The book also discusses the reality of such claims and goes onto explain the origins of such myths and also goes into detail about famous hoaxes. The book kinda takes you through a wild ride of terror and then at the end tells you it's all a load of bollocks really which is pretty cool.
From what I have gathered these books are very well missed and collectible for their nostalgia reasons. My copy is in bad condition as it is a copy nicked from a local library back in the day, so I doubt mine is worth anything but it has a sentimental value and if I lost it I would be very upset.
If you like reading books about monsters or just something fun to flick through I really recommend this book. I've had mine for years and still refer to it to this day. One of my favorite books ever!
HALLOWEEN I&II REVIEW PLUS REMAKES
HALLOWEEN
Well the day is finally upon us and today I review the movie that many of you have requested over the past few years.
The 1978 John Carpenter classic is as powerful 35 years on as it was back then. I am sure tonight millions and millions around the world will be dusting this off and giving it a watch.
I first saw this movie when I was 12 and it had a very profound effect on me. Although I found the whole thing a bit terrifying there was also a very generous feeling of awesomeness as well.
So the movie starts out 10 years before and we see a young Michael Myers butcher his sister in cold blood with a carving knife on Halloween night.
Myers is sent to a mental institute where he is locked up for life. A decade later a few days before Halloween Myers escapes from the hospital and heads home to cause more carnage.
.jpg)
Halloween is the ultimate archetype when it comes to slasher movies. Its a movie about an escaped mental patient who goes on the rampage killing teenage babysitters on the scariest night of the year. This movie was a forerunner when it came to "bad stuff happens to bad kids in horror movies" as all the people that die take drugs or have sex just before doing so.
The movie has a very strong cast and is very well performed. With movie veteran Donald Pleasance taking the role of Michael Myers psychiatric doctor and Jamie Lee Curtis (daughter of Pyscho scream queen Janet Leigh) playing the role of the ever gentle Laurie Strode. The on screen relationship between Dr Loomis and Michael Myers is a very comical to say the least. Although Loomis calls Myers a monster throughout the film and tries to kill him, he also has a sentimental bond with the character due to the fact that they have spent many years together.
The movie is very violent but not very bloody though. Apart from the first scene where a young Myers butchers his semi naked sister, the rest of the killings are mostly from strangulation's and the odd stabbing to a wall.
The movie was made with a very low budget for the time and raked in a huge profit as well as great critical acclaim worldwide making it an artistic and financial success. John Carpenter would go on to make many more classic films over the next decade or so but many of the films were a bit hit and miss.
HALLOWEEN II
Halloween II picks up right after where the first movie left off. With the same cast and crew as the first film this one really feels like your still watching the first movie.
So the story carries on from the last movie where the seemingly unkillable Michael Myers is still on the loose.
Laurie Strode is taken to the nearby hospital but she is followed by the faceless killer whose motive is revealed in spectacular fashion at the end of this movie.
The plot of this movie is pretty simple, Michael Myers goes to the hospital and hacks his way though it to get to Jamie Lee Curtis.
Halloween 2 is a great movie and is a more amped up version of the first movie. Where the first movie wasn't very bloody this movie is a right out ultra violent gore fest. People get scalded to death, eyes gauged out, stabbed slashed and there is a huge body count.
.jpg)
If you are planning to watch the first movie tonight, then I highly recommend putting this movie on straight after just so you can get some closure of the story. This movie made a lot at the box office and was a success all round. This was meant to be the end of the Michael Myers story but after Halloween III: The Season of the Witch bombed so badly without him, Myers would return 6 years later in a string of sequels which should be avoided like the plague.
THE REMAKES
HALLOWEEN 2007
Like all good horror movies from back in the day, Halloween was remade in 2007 and directed by shock rocker Rob Zombie.
The movie plot is the same but a lot more of the story revolves around the childhood and juvenile incarceration of Michael Myers. It turns out that Myers went off his head because of an abusive home life growing up.
Malcolm Mcdowell plays Dr Sam Loomis and does a pretty good job but he's no Donald Pleasance. There are lots of other cameos from other famous horror icons throughout and the casting is pretty badass.
Although this is a pretty decent remake there are many flaws with this one. The main one being Rob Zombie leaving his ultra violent stamp on everything and by that I mean turning Myers into a metal head and putting over his wife at every available opportunity. The are also 2 versions of this movie one which the cinemas released and another which didn't make the cut.
I saw the one that didn't make the cut and I understood why. It's a far more graphic version which has lots of senseless ultra vilent scenes, one of which is a rape scene of a female inmate at the asylum which has nothing to do with anything.
.jpg)
The 2007 remake of Halloween isn't too bad of a movie. Its entertaining, contemporary and has some good scares and thrills but does nothing to surpass the original movie what so ever.
HALLOWEEN 2
A sequel of the 2007 remake was released in 2009 and from where I was sitting.. sucked major balls. Yeah there were a few cool things in this movie but all of that gets over shadowed with pointless scenes and even more crap just to put over Rob Zombies fucking wife!
They turn Dr Loomis into a fraud and Michael Myers into a hobo. This movie is pure junk and I can't even bring my self to go into the details of the plot. After reading this far into the article and you still don't get what a movie about Michael Myers is about, then.. I actually give up.
I don't do this with many films but all I can say is that this movie is a pure waste of time and should be avoided at all costs, along with Halloween 3, 4, 5, 6 etc.
.jpg)
Well that's it for this years Halloween countdown. We hope you've enjoyed the articles and have a very good and Happy Halloween!
Today is officially Flashback Friday! Flashback is one of the greatest side scrolling games ever made and was a huge deal back in the day when it was released on Amiga and the domestic consoles.
The game prided it self on being a CD Rom game which was packed onto a cartridge. The game had the most fluid animation and motion capture for its time, relying on the same technology used for the Prince of Persia games. Flashback was a side scrolling action platform game which also had some tricky puzzles to solve along the way.
The games plot is about a young man called Conrad Hart who stumbles upon an alien conspiracy to destroy all humans. He gets caught and his memory gets erased. He manages to escape but crash lands in a jungle on the planet Titan after he is shot down by an alien space craft.
In order to complete the game Conrad must get his memory back and stop the aliens before its too late. The game was a huge artistic and commercial success spanning over all of the big consoles and home computers. The games graphics were the best for its time and it has some of the smoothest animations of any video game made from that era.
The game was one of the first to use animated cut scenes which yes look dated today, but they were amazing at the time.
The game even used cut scenes when you used items or key cards which was pretty cool as well. The games overall game play and animations borrow heavily from the Prince of Persia series in which the main character runs, jumps, grabs onto ledges and climbs up them/swings down to navigate the levels.
The lead character of the game can die if he falls too far and has unlimited ammo in has hand gun. The fact you can draw and sheathe your weapon was a very innovative and cool addition for a game of its time. He also has a force field device which can be charged by machines located in certain parts of each level. When fully charged Conrad can take a few hits of gunfire. Later in the game you can pick up a laser force field device which deflects bullets right back at the enemies who fire them. There's also a teleportation device which you acquire later on in the game which teleports you to where ever you throw it. Because the game was pretty big save stations where implemented as well as a password system so you could power off without having to worry too much. The save station only worked for that period of play though and acted more as a level checkpoint.
The only real letdown with this game is the fact you have to do a lot of running around before you can complete a level. In fact you do more running around and solving puzzles than you do in combat. The games enemies are pretty cool and have fairly decent AI for a game made in the early 90's. The game was a huge success and is still a classic in many peoples eyes including mine.
Earlier this year Flashback was given a make over and remade for the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 network by Ubisoft. The games difficulty has been increased and new features such as 360 aiming system has been added as well.
Although this is a pretty cool remake and a nod at the origina.
The only thing that lets it down is the poor voice acting. The cut scenes look beautiful in 2013 and the graphics are solid (and so they should be 20 years on).
A sequel to Flashback was made in 1995 called Fade to Black but I have never played it. I do plan to play it at some point though. Enjoy your weekend!
Yes it's that time of year again! I haven't seen any Coca Colo trucks yet as I don't want much normal TV anymore (because its dog shit poor), but I have been told by someone who watches TV that its happened so I took their word for it.
Retro Argos catalogs are a big deal on Lost Entertainment and are the closest thing to a time machine you can find. Today we will be looking at the Argos Christmas catalog from 1993. Its not a big book and we will only be looking at the kids section.
ARTICLE BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ
For me Home Alone is the ultimate Christmas movie. Its a movie that brings back very fond memories of my childhood and the festive season it self. You can watch Home Alone in the Summer, but it feels a bit weird, and it's not really the done thing. This is a movie about Christmas that should only be watched at Christmas. Kinda like Die Hard and Miracle on 34th Street.
With the success of the movie going through the roof in the early 1990's it was no surprise when toys and video games of the movie started to emerge. Today we take a look back at these classic but forgotten items from the ultimate Christmas blockbuster.
THE SCREAMING 8" KEVIN DOLL FROM T-HQ
The screaming Kevin doll is something I have talked about on the site before and he even makes an appearance in the Bootleg Super Street Wars from this summer (click here to read).
This was one of my Christmas presents that was high up in my Christmas list in 1992 and I was over joyed when I got him. The only problem with this doll is the fact he was bigger than any other action figure that was released around that time.
The Screaming Kevin doll looked ridiculous among other action figures with the way he was a young child who dwarfed everyone. Another draw back with this toy was the fact he had no enemies to battle against. He was just the giant child toy that didn't fit in anywhere.
The figure it self is still pretty cool and has an electronic button at the back which activates a screaming sound. The screaming sound does not sound like Kevin one bit and sounds more like a woman being murdered. It's quite freaky. Sometimes my one malfunctions and screams on its own accord which is fucking scary.
The Home Alone toys were made by T-HQ who are now the famous video game company which brings us games such as the Saints Row Series and up until recently the WWE franchised games.
T-HQ stands for the Toy Head Quarters. Just a little fact there, not a very interesting one but a fact none the less. You can now feel free to tell other people this fact but I'm sure they wont care that much.
A giant version of the toy was released, which was a soft toy with a rubber head. This toy has the same apparel as the screaming Kevin doll and also has a horrific screaming sound effect and also says a few phrases. This toy has a good likeness and has a different head mold which isn't of Kevin screaming.
The Deluxe Talkboy tape recorder was a pretty snazzy gadget back in the Christmas of 1992. Don't you remember the Talkboy from the movie?
In Home Alone 2, Kevin causes all kinds of mischief and chaos with this special audio recording device. With this device he manages to play some pranks on adults in the shower and commit credit card fraud in a swanky New York hotel.
.jpg)
As an 8 year old child putting one of these down on your Christmas list, you had pretty high hopes. Prank phone calls, credit card fraud and managing to record an adult confess to something they shouldn't without them knowing. The problem with this is the fact adults don't like being recorded much.. especially at Christmas.. when they are drunk. Most Talkboys were confiscated by Boxing day and adults would never buy you replacement batteries for such an intrusive and annoying device. Great in the movie but no good in real life.
Saying that I did keep mine and use it as a Walkman up until 1996 until it died.
A Talkboy digital watch was also released which was a much more stealthier gadget which was much more convenient when trying to get a decent scoop on an adults conversation.
The only problem is, most adults stop their conversations when children enter the room. The children are normally told to go play in the other room or to "fuck off" depending who's house you're round! The watches were made by TIGER, that horrible company which made all them god awful hand held, LCD games back in the day. There was a Home Alone TIGER game made as well but I burped a bit vomit thinking about it.
Licensed board games were still surviving (barely) in 1992 so the fact they released a Home Alone board game wasn't much of a big surprise.
The game involved going round the board setting traps on the burglars. The burglars had to steal house items in order to score points against Kevin. Its not a bad concept but I cant see Hungry Hippos or Scrabble losing any sleep over it.
Each game was pretty much the same- set traps and stop the wet bandits from getting you and burgling your house. The games did not work well at all with bad sound effects, rubbish structure and hellish controls. Home Alone, like many other great movies flopped hard in the world of cartridges and controllers.
After Home Alone 2 it all went quiet until they made other Home Alone movies with another child actor some years later which were really bad. Home Alone and Home Alone 2 will always be up there as the greatest Christmas movies of all time.The toys were cool, the games sucked and that's all I have to say on that one.
James Pond 2 was the sequel to James Pond (surprise surprise) and was a game which was ported from the old school home computers on to consoles in the early 1990's.
The game was unique because it had a Christmas time setting in a toy factory in the Arctic. There are not many Christmas games around and most of them are very poor, making this one stand out as a gem to review.
The games story is simple, a load of penguins have been kidnapped and held hostage in a huge castle which is also an evil toy factory.
In order to win this one you must save all the penguins and beat the games bosses.
The games hero is a secret agent goldfish who has a robotic suit like Robocop. James Pond can only hurt his enemies by jumping on their heads until they vanish in a puff of sparks, so his suit isn't that great but beats flapping around on the floor I guess. I also think the suit must have some sort of perk that lets a goldfish survive in a game with no underwater levels what so ever?
The gameplay is standard for most side scrolling platformers from around that time. In order to complete the levels you must find all the penguins to advance. Each level becomes more of a maze as the game progresses. The standard enemies range from evil toys to men who very much resemble the man off the Berty Basset sweets.
The penguins are also product placement for the popular UK chocolate bars Penguin. There is even a Penguin advert placed in the Sega Genesis version. The game has some fun levels and some awesome bosses but does drag on a bit. The repetitive background music is enough to send you insane after a few levels as well. The version ported to the Super Nintendo (Super James Pond) has even worse music and sound effects, which is staggering when you think about the decent level of music and sound the SNES could produce. Overall this is a cool side scrolling platformer and its nice to play at Christmas but it feels it a bit odd to fire up any other time of the year.
NOVEMBER
FLASHBACK REVIEW
The game prided it self on being a CD Rom game which was packed onto a cartridge. The game had the most fluid animation and motion capture for its time, relying on the same technology used for the Prince of Persia games. Flashback was a side scrolling action platform game which also had some tricky puzzles to solve along the way.
The games plot is about a young man called Conrad Hart who stumbles upon an alien conspiracy to destroy all humans. He gets caught and his memory gets erased. He manages to escape but crash lands in a jungle on the planet Titan after he is shot down by an alien space craft.
In order to complete the game Conrad must get his memory back and stop the aliens before its too late. The game was a huge artistic and commercial success spanning over all of the big consoles and home computers. The games graphics were the best for its time and it has some of the smoothest animations of any video game made from that era.
The game was one of the first to use animated cut scenes which yes look dated today, but they were amazing at the time.
The game even used cut scenes when you used items or key cards which was pretty cool as well. The games overall game play and animations borrow heavily from the Prince of Persia series in which the main character runs, jumps, grabs onto ledges and climbs up them/swings down to navigate the levels.
The lead character of the game can die if he falls too far and has unlimited ammo in has hand gun. The fact you can draw and sheathe your weapon was a very innovative and cool addition for a game of its time. He also has a force field device which can be charged by machines located in certain parts of each level. When fully charged Conrad can take a few hits of gunfire. Later in the game you can pick up a laser force field device which deflects bullets right back at the enemies who fire them. There's also a teleportation device which you acquire later on in the game which teleports you to where ever you throw it. Because the game was pretty big save stations where implemented as well as a password system so you could power off without having to worry too much. The save station only worked for that period of play though and acted more as a level checkpoint.
The only real letdown with this game is the fact you have to do a lot of running around before you can complete a level. In fact you do more running around and solving puzzles than you do in combat. The games enemies are pretty cool and have fairly decent AI for a game made in the early 90's. The game was a huge success and is still a classic in many peoples eyes including mine.
Although this is a pretty cool remake and a nod at the origina.
The only thing that lets it down is the poor voice acting. The cut scenes look beautiful in 2013 and the graphics are solid (and so they should be 20 years on).
A sequel to Flashback was made in 1995 called Fade to Black but I have never played it. I do plan to play it at some point though. Enjoy your weekend!
DECEMBER CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN
ARGOS 1993 CHRISTMAS CATALOG
Retro Argos catalogs are a big deal on Lost Entertainment and are the closest thing to a time machine you can find. Today we will be looking at the Argos Christmas catalog from 1993. Its not a big book and we will only be looking at the kids section.
So this page has some bubble bath bottles at the top which are themed on TV shows. There's a Gladiators one with a sticker of jet on the side and the lid is a molded Gladiator head which is awesome. I will be reviewing my Christmas gifts from 1993 and Gladiators plays a big part. There's also a bubble bath bottle shaped like Thunderbird 2 and a noddy one as well. I heard a funny joke about Noddy recently which really made me laugh. Why does Noddy have a little bell on his hat? Because he's a cunt!
This page also has some musical fairy lights wrapping paper and other generic Christmas items.
On this page we have some interesting stuff. The slogan on the bottom right hand side doesn't read very well to me. Surely it should say "get more for your money" instead of give? Oh well fuck it who cares apart from the internet spelling police.
On the top left hand side there is a Helix Treasure Chest which has a funny "contents not included" added on the side to make them bullet proof if a kid tries to sue them for not including the shitty Sonic the Hedgehog watch pictured inside of it. One of my friends still has one of these to this day and I have no idea what he keeps in it. One day I will find out and tell everyone.. if its something valuable I will just steal it or something.
On the top right we have Aladdin stationary sets and an Aladdin umbrella. Aladdin was the huge Disney movie from 1993 and was loved by both girls and boys so the toys and merch did very well that particular Christmas.
Now on to the bed sheets and we have some really cool sets to talk about. First up there's the Jurassic Park set which is just plain awesome. I have talked about the merchandise from this movie in many different articles on this site before. If you look on the side table by the bed you will spot the Kenner T-Rex and Raptor action figures.
There is a Sonic the Hedgehog 2 bed set as well. Sonic 2 was released one year before but was so awesome it ended up becoming a leading Christmas gift one year later as well.
There is also a Thunderbirds bed sheet set as well. Thunderbirds made a huge comeback during the mid 1990's and new versions of the toys and vehicles were released.
There's some calligraphy pens and a rubbish teddy bear thing on offer as well.
This page is filled with the top of the range Hi fi and electrical entertainment equipment. Here we have a portable CD player which is the most expensive thing out of the lot. A portable CD player from this era would not have the shock resistant feature and would skip more than Rocky Balboa on speed. So a £149.99 would have been a bad investment. There's lots of blank tapes and a talking alarm clock which says the word "precisely" quite a lot.
On this page we have some Disney VHS cassettes, a keyboard, an acoustic guitar and a karaoke box. Yeah that's all I can say about this page.
OK Now we are talking! A whole page dedicated to Sega products from 1993. So we have the Sega Megadrive 2 which was the exact same as the Megadrive only it had red buttons on the console instead of switches. The console came with Sonic 2 and was reasonably priced at £127. There's also a deal with 4 games included to the right.
Underneath we have the Sega CD system which is £269 and was one of the biggest flops in gaming history. This piece of equipment clipped onto the Sega Megadrive and played CD games. The games however were complete dog shit and consisted of long badly acted out cut scenes, which then turned into even worse computer games. I remember laughing so hard at some spoilt kid who got one of these for Christmas the same year.
I got the Sega Game Gear a year before as my main Christmas gift and was still playing it around this time. The Master systems are still on sale in this book and going for a good price. The six button joypads were popular at this time as Street Fighter II had just been released on the Sega Megadrive. As the Megadrive only had 3 action buttons this did not work very well for that game and they had to invent a new controller for it.
The Menacer light gun just like every other light gun was just a pure gimmick which only worked for a handful of games and sucked when it came to working properly.
Now this is the last page I am reviewing as the rest of this book is full of girls toys and I don't review those. On these 2 pages we have all the video games that were on sale in December 1993. There are some of the greatest video games EVER made on these pages and they were fucking expensive. Now I mentioned Street Fighter II making its way to the Sega Megadrive console and this is the most expensive game in the book at a whacking £59.99!!! Its hard to imagine someone paying the best part of £60 for a game we can download online in a matter of seconds today, but it happened. Its almost poetic justice when the pirates started making money from illegal gaming a few years later. These prices in 1993 are fucking extortionate and they knew that they could charge it because parents are not going to ruin Christmas 1993 for their children by not buying them Street Fighter II. If you got this game for Christmas in 1993 you should go and find your parents and hug them because that was a lot of fucking money back then and even more now.
There are some awesome games on this page such as Super Mario World, Mortal Kombat, Jungle Strike and Aladdin just to name a few. I also spotted Bubsy here for a whacking £39.99 I wouldn't even pay 1p for that game and would probably take a dump on the box out of protest. I hate that game because one of my friends got it for Christmas 1994 and we spent almost the whole of 1994 trying to get past the first 3 levels. It was soo hard beyond belief and sucked so bad.
The Nintendo Entertainment System is holding on by its claws at this point on the bottom right hand side of the page. Poor old NES.
HOME ALONE TOYS AND GAMES
ARTICLE BY KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ
For me Home Alone is the ultimate Christmas movie. Its a movie that brings back very fond memories of my childhood and the festive season it self. You can watch Home Alone in the Summer, but it feels a bit weird, and it's not really the done thing. This is a movie about Christmas that should only be watched at Christmas. Kinda like Die Hard and Miracle on 34th Street.
With the success of the movie going through the roof in the early 1990's it was no surprise when toys and video games of the movie started to emerge. Today we take a look back at these classic but forgotten items from the ultimate Christmas blockbuster.
The screaming Kevin doll is something I have talked about on the site before and he even makes an appearance in the Bootleg Super Street Wars from this summer (click here to read).
This was one of my Christmas presents that was high up in my Christmas list in 1992 and I was over joyed when I got him. The only problem with this doll is the fact he was bigger than any other action figure that was released around that time.
The Screaming Kevin doll looked ridiculous among other action figures with the way he was a young child who dwarfed everyone. Another draw back with this toy was the fact he had no enemies to battle against. He was just the giant child toy that didn't fit in anywhere.
The Home Alone toys were made by T-HQ who are now the famous video game company which brings us games such as the Saints Row Series and up until recently the WWE franchised games.
T-HQ stands for the Toy Head Quarters. Just a little fact there, not a very interesting one but a fact none the less. You can now feel free to tell other people this fact but I'm sure they wont care that much.
THE GIANT KEVIN SOFT TOY
A giant version of the toy was released, which was a soft toy with a rubber head. This toy has the same apparel as the screaming Kevin doll and also has a horrific screaming sound effect and also says a few phrases. This toy has a good likeness and has a different head mold which isn't of Kevin screaming.
THE HOME ALONE TALK BOY TAPE RECORDER
The Deluxe Talkboy tape recorder was a pretty snazzy gadget back in the Christmas of 1992. Don't you remember the Talkboy from the movie?
In Home Alone 2, Kevin causes all kinds of mischief and chaos with this special audio recording device. With this device he manages to play some pranks on adults in the shower and commit credit card fraud in a swanky New York hotel.
.jpg)
As an 8 year old child putting one of these down on your Christmas list, you had pretty high hopes. Prank phone calls, credit card fraud and managing to record an adult confess to something they shouldn't without them knowing. The problem with this is the fact adults don't like being recorded much.. especially at Christmas.. when they are drunk. Most Talkboys were confiscated by Boxing day and adults would never buy you replacement batteries for such an intrusive and annoying device. Great in the movie but no good in real life.
Saying that I did keep mine and use it as a Walkman up until 1996 until it died.
The only problem is, most adults stop their conversations when children enter the room. The children are normally told to go play in the other room or to "fuck off" depending who's house you're round! The watches were made by TIGER, that horrible company which made all them god awful hand held, LCD games back in the day. There was a Home Alone TIGER game made as well but I burped a bit vomit thinking about it.
THE HOME ALONE BOARD GAME
The game involved going round the board setting traps on the burglars. The burglars had to steal house items in order to score points against Kevin. Its not a bad concept but I cant see Hungry Hippos or Scrabble losing any sleep over it.
HOME ALONE VIDEO GAMES
T-HQ went on to make video games of both the movies on all the consoles at the time. Each game was a complete pile of dogshit and barely playable. T-HQ also made the god awful Waynes World video game which is one of the most confusing and rubbish video games ever made. Playing that for 10 minutes is my idea of hell.
After Home Alone 2 it all went quiet until they made other Home Alone movies with another child actor some years later which were really bad. Home Alone and Home Alone 2 will always be up there as the greatest Christmas movies of all time.The toys were cool, the games sucked and that's all I have to say on that one.
JAMES POND 2 ROBOCOD REVIEW
The game was unique because it had a Christmas time setting in a toy factory in the Arctic. There are not many Christmas games around and most of them are very poor, making this one stand out as a gem to review.
The games story is simple, a load of penguins have been kidnapped and held hostage in a huge castle which is also an evil toy factory.
In order to win this one you must save all the penguins and beat the games bosses.
The games hero is a secret agent goldfish who has a robotic suit like Robocop. James Pond can only hurt his enemies by jumping on their heads until they vanish in a puff of sparks, so his suit isn't that great but beats flapping around on the floor I guess. I also think the suit must have some sort of perk that lets a goldfish survive in a game with no underwater levels what so ever?
The gameplay is standard for most side scrolling platformers from around that time. In order to complete the levels you must find all the penguins to advance. Each level becomes more of a maze as the game progresses. The standard enemies range from evil toys to men who very much resemble the man off the Berty Basset sweets.
The penguins are also product placement for the popular UK chocolate bars Penguin. There is even a Penguin advert placed in the Sega Genesis version. The game has some fun levels and some awesome bosses but does drag on a bit. The repetitive background music is enough to send you insane after a few levels as well. The version ported to the Super Nintendo (Super James Pond) has even worse music and sound effects, which is staggering when you think about the decent level of music and sound the SNES could produce. Overall this is a cool side scrolling platformer and its nice to play at Christmas but it feels it a bit odd to fire up any other time of the year.
JAMES POND 2 CHEAT
To make James Pond invincible simply collect the above items (at any time) during the game in order. The easiest way to remember this is that you have to spell the word cheat. Grab the cake, the hammer, earth, apple and tap from the roof near the entrance of the castle.
THANK YOU ALL FOR READING, SUBSCRIBING, SHOPPING AND SUPPORTING LOST ENTERTAINMENT IN 2013. WE WILL BE BACK NEXT YEAR WITH EVEN MORE COOL SHIT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT!
HAPPY NEW YEAR
