Showing posts with label bootleg toys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bootleg toys. Show all posts

20 Mar 2013

TOYS: BOOTLEG TOYS II: THE REVENGE OF THE BOOTLEGS


OK so this month was supposedly meant to be the Wrestlemania countdown month but due to the real Wrestlemania countdown being luke warm as fuck I have decided to carry on with business as usual on Lost Entertainment.

So last year I wrote an entertaining piece about Bootleg toys (click here to read) where talked in great detail about the counterfeit toys which have been made in Mexico. As there are so many fucked bootleg toys out there I decided to write a sequel and here it is. Bootleg Toys II: The Revenge of the Bootlegs.

ADVENTURE MAN

With Rambo being popular as hell with the kids in the 1980's it is no big surprise that bootleggers ended up ripping him off as well. I had a really good Rambo bootleg which I believed to be real for many years as it was that good. However this evil eyed cheap one is a load of crap and the fact he is called "Adventure Man" is just the icing on the cake.


I love the way the guy on the packet looks like Ellis out of Die Hard. The figure must have had a shave before getting packed off to the local flea markets and off licences all over the world.

THE BATTERY OPERATED MIGHTY CAR

Like I said in the past article some of these toys are so fucked up on many levels that they become modern art. This badboy is a testament to this. A bootleg light up A Team van with Mr T's head popping out of the sun roof (which lights up for good measure) while his giant arms brandish weapons from the side windows. I would actually pay top dollar for this, whats not to like? read the box! It has five lights, a mighty driver that moves up and down automatically and the driver has an axe and a rifle! She will be mine.. oh yes she will be mine!

SUPERMAN BOOTLEGS

Being arguably the biggest and most recognizable super hero of all time, Superman gets bootlegged all the fucking time. Check the above picture, He has Batmans cape, Spidermans body and oh yeah he lights up as well.. YAY. I've only ever seen a few decent Superman bootlegs, as on a whole they are dog shit awful.


Would you buy this for your kid? A special blowjob action Superman soft toy! Why does Superman have the mouth of an inflatable sex doll? Any parent who bought this for their kid and did not think this looked a sex toy was a moron. This has to be one of the outrageous bootlegs I have ever seen in my life.


When I was a kid it was nearly impossible to get a figure of Superman. You could get Batman and everyone else but never Superman. All you could do was look on the back of Aquamans box and just dream. During my quest as a child to get a Superman figure I ended up with many shitty bootlegs. This was one of them, a non articulated toy with a crap sticker and his arms are always stuck in that position. This toy came with a parachute which was more like a plastic bag. Oh the minutes of fun we had throwing this piece or crap in the air and watching it slowly glide down to safety.


"SUPERMAN COME BACK" is another example of how messed up the world of bootleg toys actually is. Where do I start? Well superman is riding a dinosaur which has a "TRY ME" sticker pointing to its anus. Why Superman would be riding dinosaurs is just beyond me. The Superman on the right has no eyes.. or he is he sleeping? I would wanna close my eyes forever as well if I got stuck on a box with this lot.


Like I just said, Superman figures were very hard to come by and as a kid this one here was probably the best bootleg I found resembling Superman. How ever it was a great big chunk of rubber which had a string attached and still looked like shit. I had Batman and Spiderman toys which were very similar as well.

TITANIC BOT

Imagine if the Titanic could turn it self into a giant robot? Think no more as the answer to our prayers is here.. TITANIC BOT!!!! This toy is so stupid and fucked up on so many levels I don't know where to start or end for that matter. Who needs life boats when the most famous luxury cruise liner can turn into a cyborg right?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES GUN

If you are not the best at mastering the martial arts skills of the Turtles then here is your answer, shoot the twats in the face with the Turtles Gun. They will never see it coming as its bootlegged and makes no sense what so ever.

ROBERT COP 2

If you remember RobertCop the super cool Robocop bootleg from the last article then this will blow your socks off. When I wrote about Robertcop last time I actually forgot to mention he was in fact Robertcop 3. Just before I show you the figure check out the label from the packaging. We have Robertcop who has an Optimus Prime logo on his chest, C3P0's head on the T-1000's body and Johnny 5 from Short Circuit looming over the pair of them. I want a T Shirt of this!


However the label on the bag is the only thing worth keeping as the figure it self is beyond dire. He looks like a zombie version of Robocop. Robert Cop 3 was the best when it came to ripping off Robocop.

STREET FIGHTER 2

The mini Street Fighter 2 bootlegged action figures and play-sets where very good toys and examples of how sometimes bootlegs can be decently designed products. The toys came packed inside of mini bootleg SNES controllers which opened up into this.


The figures them selves were of a pretty decent standard and could be twisted at the waist. The figures had different paint jobs to their on screen counterparts but some where painted matching the characters real appearance. The Blanka for example on the right is painted using his official colors but E Honda is in white not blue.


These figures and play sets were of such good quality that I remember me and my friends competitively collecting these toys. We actually thought they were licensed products at the time they were that good.

WWF

Wrestling figures have always been the most bootlegged thing going. I could talk about the really bad ones but that is to easy and would take me an eternity to do. Today I am talking about the better bootlegs. The ones pictured above were released around late 1992 and were a collection of mini WWF figures which were pretty damn cool. Like the Street Fighter toys these bootlegs were so good we thought they were the real thing. Just take a look at them, each one looks and had has same colors of their real life counterparts at the time. These were another group of bootlegs I competitively collected among my friends at school.


This Ultimate Warrior has to be the best bootleg wrestling figure of all time. Using the molds from the Spanish line of official WWF dolls and taking the head off of the giant talking Hasbro Warrior toy, they managed to make the ULTIMATE Ultimate Warrior toy. Great paint job to boot as well. Hats off to these guys great job.

THE DRAGON

Now this is another bad ass bootleg. Using the same box and mold of the Superman super powers collection they made this super cool bootleg of Bruce Lee. I was lucky enough to have an official Bruce Lee action figure when I was a kid but I would have killed for this. A decent looking Bruce Lee bootleg in the Game of Death attire.  

More Lost Entertainment next week.

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17 May 2012

TOYS: BOOTLEG TOY SPECIAL


When ever a great toy line is released there will always be dodgy Mexican and Chinese companies that will make knock off versions of them. It is kind of like piracy in the form of toys. To avoid any legal issues these companies change the spelling of their toys and do all sorts of other customizations which more often than not, end up in disaster. Some times the toys them selves are great and you would not know the difference but in most cases these products are poorly made to the point where hilarity will always be prevail. The funniest thing is that these toys were made by non English speaking countries so most of the time they will be named in broken English. Even though these toys were fakes they are highly collectable and I have seen some go for fortunes. Here are some examples of some classic bootleg toys.

ROBERT COP 2

This is a great bootleg toy of Robocop except for one thing.. the packaging. They could have called this toy "Robot Cop" or "Cyborg Cop" but fucking "Robert Cop" is probably the worst thing that anyone could suggest. When I was a kid I spent a lot of my childhood abroad and bootleg toys were available everywhere. I picked up my Robert Cop in Gozo which is one of the smallest islands in the universe.

OP"THOMAS" PRIME

Cashing in on the Transformers wave that swept the planet during the 1980's and also the fact that everyones favorite train will always be over, some weird Japanese company made this classic knock off. I named this one Op"Thomas" Prime and I don't know what the original toy was called. If you think that this cross over hybrid is bad then the next one will amaze you even more.

GOD JESUS

Ever wondered what would happen if you mixed Jesus and God together? Well this is the shocking result! A crucifix wielding robot from Japan. I have no idea what so ever what God (if that is his real name) or Jesus have to do with anything but it works as far as I am concerned. I wonder who would win in a fight between God Jesus and Robert Cop 2? I don't know if God Jesus is a bad guy or a good guy as he looks quite menacing. Also who would his enemies be? A bloke dressed as a scientist called the Atheist? Hang on one minute I have the answer!

OCCUPY CYBERTRON

Now these are blokes in suits with the heads and legs of Transformers. Corporate greed mixed with cyborg technology makes these figures the ultimate bad guys. I blame them for JFK and September the 11th. These figures are so bad that they are almost modern art.

 MR T BOXING PUPPET

The Mr T boxing puppet was a classic. With Mr T being the most famous guy on the planet in the 80's he also became the target of many bootleg toy makers. There were many of these puppets released of all sorts of different characters and celebs but the Mr T one is the most remembered. The puppet had levers inside which when pressed would make the puppet throw some punches. This was an amazing bootleg toy but shame about the dodgy Islamic robe..

BA VAN

This is a hideous bootleg A-Team van from the 80's. If you couldn't afford a real A-Team van then I guess this would have been your only option. There's not much I can say about this really, its just a shit van with some stickers on it.

MR T

I am not sure if this is a Mr T bootleg figure or a Mr T tampax device? Either way it is proper rubbish. Maybe the string is meant to be a pony tail like that bloke in Kickboxer had? Or it is a Christmas tree decoration.? It looks like he has a glass eye as well. I piity the fools who can't make decent Mr T knock offs.

GAME CHILD

This is a god awful Nintendo Game Boy rip off. Yet again the wells of originality and creativity run very shallow when it comes to naming this product. God awful thing that made any long car journey and plane ride ten times worse.

INCREDIBLE HULK

This is a really bad Incredible Hulk knock off but as a kid I would have been happy with this. I must say he is rocking a pretty badass afro.


I actually like this bootleg Hulk figure. It looks like Lou Ferringo but also looks like zombie on steroids. Actually the more I look at this figure the more it scares me. Kinda has the same vibe of a cursed painting.

SHITTY FAKE HE MAN

This is a classic example of a shitty bootleg He Man toy. With the popularity of the Masters of the Universe line a few decades back He Man bootlegs swarmed like a plague of Locusts. Some of them were cool and were welcome additions to your home made Eternia. Others were welcomed to being set on fire and other means of torture.

TOY STORY WOODY

This is a knock off Woody from Toy Story. You can tell by the sadness of this Toys eyes how he hates being a bootleg toy that has been frozen forever in a suggestible pose. Bend over a Barbie in front of this toy to see what I mean. He should be casted for the next Toy Story movie.

NIGHTMARE FEDDY

Just like Robert Cop 2 Nightmare Feddy is a brilliant knock off apart from the terrible naming on the package. What the fuck is a Feddy?? 

MONSTER

Here is another knock off Freddy figure. This came from a line of toys that also had a Dracula, Frankenstien and another weird monster. I painted the white stripes on my one green because it really bothered me! After that it didn't look to bad.

THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE

These are not as epic as the Thomas the Tank bootleg I mentioned earlier. These knock offs that have used the exact moulds of the real Thomas the Tank Engine toys and just re-sprayed them in horrible greens and brighter colors. Insert Thomas the Wank engine joke here..

SUPER HERO BOOTLEGS

Finally we come to the Super Hero section of the bootleg toys. Super heroes are the most targeted group when it comes to bootlegging exploitation. Most of the super hero toys I owned as a kid were bootleg copies. Sometimes they make decent ones but like usual 90% of them are dog shit rubbish! Look at the above picture for an example. Not only is Supermans costume the wrong colors but his eyes are crossed as well. The "S" on his chest must clearly stand for "Spaz" in this case.

SENSE OF RIGHT

This 6 pack of decent figures also shares the curse of Robert Cop with the broken English packaging. Sense of Right? Actually its growing on me. I love how the yellow Ranger is thrown in the mix also.

SILVERBAT

Silver bat is Batgirl riding a horse. It is battery operated so God knows what this thing does when powered up. More than likely kicks its legs and plays the theme song from Spider Man!

SUPER BAT

Super Bat is a radio controlled skateboard with Batman riding it. If you cant afford a Tony Hawks game then I guess this could come in handy. 

SPECIAL MAN

This is a decent Superman figure but "Specialman" is probably the least flattering name of the lot. 


I am not going to even say anything about this one.

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