JUNK FOOD: SMITHS TUBES

Back in the 1980's and early 1990's junk food was rife and times were good. There was no Jamie Oliver policing kids pack lunches, no one was being all pussy about e numbers and the only things that people thought were deadly were smoking fags and being hit by buses.

During this golden age of Marathon Bars, Monster Munch and when Space Raiders had the amazing comic book packaging (which looked like a transvestite David Bowie having a space quest) there were Smiths Tubes.

Smiths Tubes came in two flavors which were ready salted and salt and vinegar. They were kind of like longer versions of Hula Hoops but not as hard and had the same texture as the Smiths Squares crisps.

Tubes were awesome and when Pepsico bought out Smiths and eventually Walkers, the Tubes sadly never survived the transaction which was a shame. The bacon flavored Monster Munch were also whacked and so were the Beef ones until a few years ago.

All that remains of the Smiths Tubes is this scanned empty packet. RIP!

TOYS: SUBBUTEO STADIUMS

Long before FIFA was any good Subbuteo was the closest thing you could get to playing a fictional game of football at home.

The game it self did not play as well as expected though and it did seem a bit stupid that the ball was bigger than the football players. I did not care though as I scrapped the rule book and played by my own set of rules which made it actually playable.

The thing I loved most about Subbutio was the accessories you could buy just about everything from camera men, referees, lines man, giant score boards, a commentators tower and the stadium stands.

It was an expensive hobby and the stadium I built was 75% custom made as to build the stadium and fill it to full capacity cost an absolute fortune.

As I stated in previous article my stadium unfortunately burned to the ground after fans of the Red Team were somewhat upset about the referees decision to disallow a goal so they rioted and the rest history.. well melted plastic but the shocking scenes still live with me to this day. Its such a shame when the beautiful game turns ugly when these hooligans cant behave them selves and spoil the fun for everyone else.

Anyway I had a look online today and check out these great efforts that other people have done with their Subbutio stadiums.

This was the old school one I dreamed of having. Its a good job I did not get it after the incident with my custom one.

Look at the little fences keeping the little nutters from doing a pitch invasion! Something I should have thought of!

This is a new school pitch apparently it looks pretty awesome.

This one here is by far the best effort I have ever seen!

MUSIC VIDEO: ALICE COOPER THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK

So today is Friday the 13th so its officially Jason Voorhees day here at Lost Entertainment. As I will be spending my entire day watching Hollywoods favorite hockey mask wearing machete welding freak chop up  the innocent campers of Camp Crystal Lake (and maybe Manhattan  if I havent lost the will to live by then) I wont be posting much today.

If I said to you Alice Cooper and Jason Voorhees together in a music video you would think of something epic like what Dokken did with Freddy Krueger... but it is epically bad unfortunately. Yes this is possibly the worst Alice Cooper song ever made and the lyrics are so bad it is hard to believe this is Alice cooper. Anyway even though the song is pants the video is still pretty cool and just what you would expect from a video with Jason Voorhees and Alice cooper its all hockey masks and snakes!

TOYS: KELLOGGS EURO 96 MINI VIRTUAL FOOTBALL SCREENS

1996 Was a great year and the Euro 96 competition held in England 30 years after they won the World Cup was one of the biggest things about it. Elsewhere Oasis were conquering the world, the Spice Girls where going viral and aliens were blowing up the White House but Euro 96 was my fondest part of that year.

It was meant to be! we had the best squad since Italia 90, Frank Skinner gave as great anthem to blast out and we was at home how could we lose? Well when you put a stupid little fuck muppet called Gareth Southgate in the mix then thats all it takes to turn any dream into a full on nightmare.

Even though we went out it was still an amazing time to be a football fan and I have never felt the same sense of passion for our national side ever since. You could argue and say France 98 but we all knew deep down we would never have won that but Euro 96 we had a good fighting chance.

During all the football festivities the marketing went mad. Everywhere was England this England that and some brilliant products emerged. The Corrinthian mini football players were all the rage and were going through the roof but another toy came out which everyone was swapping at school and this toy came free in a cereal box. This toy was the mini Virtual Euro 96 monitor take a look



These were motion activated bits of card in a frame that did a one second animation of a football player.. playing football. There were a few to collect and I remember having them all. I was keen into Subeteo at the time but I didnt play the game (as it was not that fun) but I enjoyed building the stadium with all the accessories and these monitors served as big screen monitors for my football ground. If I remember correctly there was a riot and the stadium caught fire around 1997 when I was bored one day and found a can of Lynx and some matches.

If you sent off a thing to Kelloggs they would send you a massive collectors kit to put all your screens in. I never had this and I lost all of mine years ago. Does anyone still have theirs?

TELEVISION: WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE RENFORD REJECTS?

Today I write this article as I am tucked up ill in bed as I have caught some infection which is going around at the moment but I havent got the taste for human flesh or brains yet so I should be ok.

It takes me back to being younger when I would be off school for a legitimate illness and not just bunking off in general which I used to do.. a lot. It took me back to 1998 when I was off school with some virus and the only thing I could do was watch Sky TV from the sofa.

Back then UK Nickelodeon was in full force bringing us really good TV aimed for cool kids. It had the best cartoons and the best sitcoms marketed for pre teens and teenagers. Now Nickelodeon is utter tripe and none of the shows will ever hold a candle to the likes of Keenan and Kel, Pete and Pete, Doug, Aaah Real Monsters and hell even Sister Sister, Sabrina and Clarrissa were good shows now I think of it. Back then I would actually enjoy being ill just so I had could lay there and watch Nickelodeon all day.

In 1998 they brought out a UK made program called the Renford Rejects about a shit five a side football team which was a big hit at the time and it aired from 1998 to 2001. Today as I sit here ill with no Nickelodeon to watch I thought to my self "Where are the Renford Rejects now?" well lets find out.

ROBIN

The Renford Rejects star female player was Robin. She would not play for the ladies team as she was too good and even better than most of the boys apparently! Robin was played by Holly Davidson who is the younger sister of British actress (and Jude Laws ex wife) Sadie Frost. Holly went on to do some British shows like the Bill and Casualty which are pretty standard shows for upcoming stars to make passage through in the UK. She was in the movie Final Cut alongside her sister Sadie which is a really great British movie which I will have to review on here at a later point. She was also in Van wilder 2 and Essex Boys the rubbish film about blokes getting shot in Range Rovers and she plays a bird who dies of an overdose and you get to see her arse. She now works as a personal trainer

VINNIE RODRIGUES

Vinnie Rodrigues was the sports journalist who follwed the Rejects around with his video camera. He looked like Roger from Sister Sister maybe thats what got him the role!. The actor who played him Roger Davies kept it real and got work on the Bill like everyone else does and was a regular character in the shit Channel 5 soap family affairs alongside one of his Renford Rejects co stars who I will get to in a moment. He was recently in a TV show called hounded which I have never heard of or seen so I cant comment on wether its good or shit.

RAJVINDA "RONNIE" SUPRA

The Rejects resident Indian kid who played the beautiful game with shades on. Played by Adam Dean who went on to do an episode of the Bill and Doctors and that was all for him and his acting career. Saying he got benched or relegated from the world of TV would be a more relevant and appropriate way of putting things I guess.

JASON SUMMERBEE

Jason Summerbee was like a young Danny Dyer in the sense that he was a one dimensional cockney who was really annoying. What annoyed me the most about him was the fact he was this overbearing cockney but he was always running around in Hull football shirt which is Northern. I fucking hated kids at school who supported random football teams from up North just to be different. There was one kid in my year at school who supported Newcastle for no reason what so ever and he was a proper cock. The actor who played him Martin Delaney went on to do Family Affairs and was nominated for a soap award. He made three movies in Iceland and co wrote the Kevin Bishop show...

STEWART JACKSON

Stewart Jackson was the teams manager who was an amazing football player who was sidelined due to injury. Stewart was always sporting a Chelsea shirt which I don't mind because at least he supported them when they were shit. Stewart was played by Matthew Leitch who went on to much bigger and better things after this show (which really isnt that hard to do). He went on to have a role in the awesome Band of Brothers and had a small part in The Dark Knight.

BARRY "BRUNO" GRADE

Bruno was an English kid who pretended he was Italian and from Inter Milan. He was one of my favorite characters in the show as I like him in the same way I like Santino Morrella in WWE. He was played by Paul Parris and by the looks of things Paul was a child actor and had done stuff like Grange Hill before this show and the Renford Rejects was his swan song. He now lives in Jersey with his wife and kids and runs a drama school.

BEN PHILLIPS

Ben was the poetry loving geeky goal keeper of the team and was played by Charlie Rolland. The Rejects was the first and last acting work Charlie ever done and he is the only one I couldn't find out where he is or what he is doing. I can live with that to be fair

MUSIC: PROJECT OVERKILL WITH KRISTIAN RODRIGUEZ

  Project overkill with Kristian Rodriguez by Project Overkill

I didnt know that this would be my last show until five minutes before I hit the decks. As I was going over the set list and show notes one last time before I went on air I just decided its over. I screwed the whole lot up and just decided fuck the plans I am just gunna have a good time and go out with a blast playing my favourite metal tracks of all time instead of what I had on the set list. I also decided to play the best of the London bands that reached out to me on the last show I was doing with Squid.

I leave doing my rock show with no regrets and on a happy note instead of a bitter worn down and fed up one. The way I look at it is that I started something from my home standing up for something that I believed in. I reached out to thousands of people across the world, got to play some awesome gigs and made/met many great friends along the way. 

My shows never went mainstream and I liked it that way. All I wanted to do was make a kick ass show which was an alternative to the other bullshit that is on the airwaves for my friends to listen to and anyone else who felt the same as I do about good metal music.

I dont give a fuck about any negative comments people will have to say about the show, my work and me ending the show. At the end of the day what have they ever done with their lives apart from sit behind a computer screen while they compile that list of people they hate under their Marilyn Manson poster!

I would like to thank the following bands/artists for reaching out to me and letting me play your tracks on air and they are:

Dave Laverty and all the guys from Resonator

Dave Christmas and F.S.I

Phil Roadkill and Generation Graveyeard

Michael Payne

Nick and the boys from Sonic Mass

Saggs and the boys from Self Loathing

Josh and Our people versus yours

Throne of Vengeance

Jimmy and Knockturn Alley

and last but not least

Lance Barrington of Valpurgis Night/Tilt for the amazing riffage, great times and for putting up with Steven!

I would also like thank all of YOU for listening and supporting me and my efforts over the last couple of years. I love you all!

As I tore up the plans I had for this show I hardly have anything to say apart from plugging bands so I just let the music do the talking. Sorry for any skipping this was due to the show being streamed live and was out of my control.

Thanks again

FANTASY CELEB BIG BROTHER LINE UP

So we have just got rid of the X factor and now the sheep have something new to watch to stop them from rioting in the streets again. Yes its that time of year when TV writers cant be arsed to write anything so they put a few borderline celebs in a house full of cameras and hope for the worst and the general public love every minute of it.

Every time they do a celeb one its always wanky people like X factor rejects and people who have been dropped from Eastenders for doing to much cocaine. If I had the money and had some kind of power to bring in a line up for the show here would be mine.

Mr T

Everyones favorite muscle bound, gold wearing, mowhawk sporting pittier of fools would be top of the list. He takes no shit kinda like sand paper bog roll and I think he would kick a lot of ass. Just imagine the diary room rants "these suckas better no that I aint playin no game or getting no plane. This weeks task aint done I'm gunna whoop some ass!" Yeah Mr T goes in.

Lindsay Lohan

If all crackheads were as fit as Lohan I think the drug would get declassed. This border line bimbo who has almost seen as much jail time as Mike Tyson is an obvious entry. Just so the nation can watch her have a break down on live TV and self harm in the jacuzzi. Hopefully theres a chance she might get her tits out as well!

Charles Manson

Everyones favorite cult leading hippie serial killer gets released to serve the community by working a Big Brother show for channel 5. If you have ever seen an interview with this young man you will notice he is somewhat off his rocker. If the public embraced and voted for that twat with tourrettes then they will adore Charlie. Plus theres a big chance he might start a cult.. or kill someone... or both either way it will pull in ratings and thats all that matters today in TV. Yes Rebbecca Loos can toss off a pig, Jordan can eat some monkeys bollocks or we can film pikeys getting married. It may be shit television scraping the barrels of hell it self but think of the fucking ratings. Thats all that matters!

Megan Fox

Why? Because she's fit and there's a jacuzzi! Who needs any more reasons!

The Iron Sheik

Everyones favorite 80's wrestling bad guy. He loves weed, cocaine, beer and hates jews. He threatens to anally rape people and make them humble. This guy is a much needed asset as not only does he talk the talk but he will slap you with flip flops if you fuck around. Search him up on youtube the guy is a legend!

Mila Kunis

Same reasons as Megan Fox.

Ozzy Osbourne

The ultimate wildman of metal Ozzy is an obvious choice for a housemate. Not only is he crazy and funny as fuck but hes a nice bloke to top it off. Top favorite for winner!

Zombie Jade Goody

Just when you thought it was safe to tune into the television she's back! The most annoying, uneducated, foul, racist and most unbearable person to ever grace a TV screen has returned. After one of the chemical barrels which stored all of the manky DNA from Jeremy Kyles lie detector test was accidently disposed of near Jade Goody's burial ground she was reanimated and has now returned to annoy us until we ring up the premium rate hotline to vote her out.